Muscle Man.

Dear Gin,
I have been mildly happily married for 7 years but find every time I see a hottie at GNC I want to jump his bones. Does this mean my marriage is over? What should I do?

Sincerely,
Desperately in Need of Good Sex

Dearest Desperately in Need of Good Sex,
Yes, the guys at GNC are usually quite attractive. In fact, Gin has been known to flirt with one... or five of them on a near daily basis, as she too loves the GNC brand water and the free vitamin chews they hand out at the counter. The guys are typically healthy, muscular and stupidly sweet. In many cases they are also too tan, and too ripped, with eye brows that have been plucked better than ours. Their purpose is to find, and quickly ring up the closest legal supplement to crack cocaine, that will give us endless energy, a euphoric high, and suppress our appetites so we can be what all women are meant to be-- thin and artificially happy. And really, where are you going to jump their bones?!?  Have you seen how small a GNC store is? And usually they are quite over staffed, leaving you and the hunk with no privacy. In fact, half way through you will probably get interrupted by a meat head trying to buy one of those giant containers of powered ice cream muscle maker. I don't know what it is, but it's usually purchased by someone with back acne clearly on the 'roids. Sick.
I say, ask for a GNC t-shirt, throw it on your husband and tell him he has some serious work to do, or you will be having sex in public. At the mall. With a stranger.

Cheers,
Gin