Office Party of One.

Dear Gin,

The office Christmas party got a little out of hand this year. I
stayed out way too late and drank far too many dirty martinis. At the
end of the night I shared a cab home with a co-worker because he lives
in my neighborhood. After flirting all night and far too much vodka I
decided it would be a good idea to invite him up to my apartment.
Things really took a wrong turn and he spent the night! I have kept it
quiet at work but he keeps texting me to hang out again. It has also
come to my attention that he may be "hooking-up" with another
co-worker as well...a girl I am pretty close with! What should I do?

Sincerely,
Too Much Office Christmas

Dearest Too Much Office Christmas,
I think any office party that serves alcohol is just asking for their employees to get a little "crazy," and potentially, "hook up." I mean, really. My office party took place at 3 in the afternoon on a Wednesday and all we were served was water or generic cola on the clock.  But in turn, no one made sweet love to a co-worker. So yes, we should all have the will power to not cross lines that probably aren't for the best, but you also don't hang a banana in front of a monkey's face and expect it not to grab for it.

So the bigger question is how do we remedy the problem that already happened? The dirty was done after a dirty. (Or five.) I will assume that a budding romance that will lead to a life in holy matrimony was not created after the office party--so you need to nip it in the bud with brutal honesty. "Hey, male co-worker I made sweet love to with (probable) little recollection of, after the office Christmas party--that wasn't me. That was the martini vibing and jiving with you. I'm sober now (hopefully), and I have papers to file, holes to punch, and so do you. End of story. Speak about this with anyone, and I'll tell the Boss (insert elaborate lie)." And then make sure to follow up with behavior that drives your point home. Always look very busy and serious around the office. Even if this means shuffling blank papers or jotting down your grocery list on your business professional clipboard.

And for the love of God, just as one should never drink and drive, the same is true to drink with co-workers of the opposite sex. You need to able to sit in meetings and doodle mean spirited sketches of your co-workers, not doodle pictures of what your children would look like.

Cheers,

Gin