Friends with benefits, babies and girlfriends.

Dear Gin,
I met a guy back in September at a gross college bar while celebrating a co-workers birthday. He and his friends approached me at the end of the night after a few dirty martini's and a couple shots of patron. The boy in particular, "Andy," and I hit it off really well. He ended up working in the same building as I do. The next day after my hangover wore off, I went and visited Andy at work. He had some pretty blue eyes, but was kinda short. We hit it off again, and began texting and flirting. But then come to find out--he had a live in girlfriend who also happens to be his baby's mama. Recently Andy asked if we could be friends with benefits. He is really cute, but the whole kid and girlfriend might weigh on my conscious. I'm single, I need advice. Should I have a dirty martini, do the dirty, or hit on one of his friends?

Sincerely,
Sexless in Sylvania

Dearest Sexless in Sylvania,
While yes, I commend you for drinking Dirty Martini's, a girl after my own heart! Everything else?! A. HOT. MESS. Don't worry darling, you need a lot of work, but I see these quandaries all too often--you're not alone. Can you meet a good guy at a "gross college bar?" Um, not typically. Do I ever recommend shots of Patron? No, why ruin a glorious martini buzz with tequila? Ick. Choosing a top shelf tequila--not bad. Dating someone in your building? I'm assuming you aren't working as a business professional in some top notch firm, so you probably can get away with it, but not preferable. You don't need someone keeping tabs on you, snooping around the water cooler, leaving you obnoxious post-its. And honey, a girl goes NO WHERE when hung over. Most certainly not to see a potential beau. Your face was probably blotchy and dehydrated, I am sure you were bloated, and how could you possibly have the sense to put together an appropriate outfit with less functioning brain cells? You wore Uggs, didn't you? Stay home, drink your cucumber lemon mint water, soak in the tub filled with lavender, and face the world in no fewer than 24 hours.
And let's continue to delve deeper...short?! Oh God no. Nothing less than 6'. Getting with his friends? Gross.  But really...a baby and baby mama?! If he can't take the responsibility of a small person serious, do you ever think you'll be more than the drunk girl he banged at the gross college bar?! No! And if he was taking life as a parent serious, sure he could indulge in a few adult activities, but not two women all under the same roof as his small person. I don't own a baby/small person, (nor do I recommend it) but if I did, I am a true believer in reeling it in a little. Sure the small person is going to follow you around asking you to buy it shit, but it's also picking up on your every behavior. I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to have a small person drinking martini's, wearing red lipstick and calling strangers "ass face" when they move too slowly at the grocery store. And that's precisely why I don't have kids.
However, you're a young girl who needs to get her kicks, and not everything needs to be in holy matrimony--I get it. But can't you find him at just the regular college bar sans baby mama drama, at the very least?? Hold yourself to a much higher standard. Drink your dirty with confidence, find a location with a better vibe, forget the shots, and let the boy come to you. I promise he will.

Cheers,
Gin!